31 Days of Virtue: Day 20

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Titus 2:3

According to Dictionary.com, reverent means deeply respectful. Respect is esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person. Sometimes it is hard to be respectful. We've already talked a little bit about respecting our husbands here. But maybe we need a refresher. Respect is a very important part of a marriage. If you haven't read the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, I highly recommend it. 

As I was doing a little research for this post, I started reading a few posts on the Love and Respect Blog. In one of the posts, is a story of a woman and her husband who attended a Love & Respect video seminar. The woman and her husband neither thought they needed help in their marriage, but wanted to do a little maintenance. The first night they came away with a feeling like "That's great; but we already knew that." However the second night, they learned something new. 

"Dr. Eggerichs began to describe our spiritual relationship to the letter. Essentially, the wife looks to the husband for leadership, but she is fearful andapprehensive and so she asks questions and looks for reassurance. The husband interprets this as trying to take control and wear the pants of the relationship and so backs off or responds negatively to the wife and a cycle begins."

This woman realized that this is what she was doing, unintentionally of course. After she told this to her husband, he also confessed that he was doing exactly as Dr. Eggerichs said the husbands tend to do - back off. 

I began to wonder, "Am I doing the same thing?" Are you? Are we fearful of something that is causing us to ask questions and look for reassurance?

We need to confess these things to our husbands, and let them know what we are feeling. Don't hold it in. Our husbands might be backing off or responding negatively just as Dr. Eggerichs explained. 

Instead of asking questions, let's try to encourage our husbands. Here are a few ideas from Time-Warp Wife:

1. Listen to what he has to say so that you will recognize what's on his heart.
2. Make an effort to be as cheerful as you were when you were engaged to be married.
3. Ignore his faults and focus on his strong points by taking note of them.
4. Compliment him for the way that he looks and the good things that he does like working hard for the family.
5. See him for who he is, not who you want him to be.
6. Be slow to anger. Relay your frustration with love, respect, and a cool head.

Archive of 31 Days of Virtue:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 11

Day 12

Day 13

Day 14

Day 15

Day 16

Day 17

Day 18

Day 19

My Mission

Lately, I've been participating in the Maximize Your Morning Challenge. Many women signed up and were put into groups. Our group is challenged to wake up at 6am to spend a little time with God and reading His word. While doing this challenge, I also read a book that is written by Kat, who started the MYM Challenge and is available to anyone interested called Mission Statement for Moms. Even though I'm not a mom yet, I think having a mission statement can be very beneficial. And I wanted to share mine with you today.

Enjoy your day!

Project 31: Fear the LORD

Today will be my last post for Project 31. Have any ideas about what you would like to read about for future posts? Tell me on my Facebook page!

...a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

‘A woman who fears the LORD...’ What does that really mean? To fear the LORD means to have reverence for Him, to be in awe of Him, and to obey Him. We must fear the LORD before we can ever become the woman of Proverbs 31. We must realize that God alone is God. We are not. Our husbands are not. Our pastors are not. They will let us down; we will let ourselves down, but not God. He is faithful and true and righteous and pure. He will be there until the end; others may not. To fear the LORD we must love, honor, respect, and be submissive to Him. We must lay down our life to the LORD and let Him have control.

Proverbs 1:7, 9:10, and 15:33 all say that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom.

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and discipline.” Proverbs 1:7

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Proverbs 9:10

“The fear of the LORD is what wisdom teaches, and humility come before honor.” Proverbs 15:33

Do you desire to be a capable wife (Proverbs 31:10)? Do you desire to have strength and honor as your clothing (Proverbs 31:25)? Do you desire to have wisdom and loving instruction (Proverbs 31:26)? Do you desire for your children to call you blessed and for your husband to praise you (Proverbs 31:28)?

Fear the LORD. It’s where we should all begin.

Fear of the LORD is the beginning of

becoming the woman of Proverbs 31.

Project 31: Beauty is Fleeting

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

This is a verse worth memorizing. Charm is deceptive. Beauty is fleeting. We shouldn't focus our attention on outward beauty. It's the inside that counts. Look inside yourself. Do you like what you see? If not, work on that first. Because that which is inside will always find a way to show itself on the outside.

We need to teach our daughters and teach our granddaughters. Outward beauty will not last. You know the saying 'Can't take it with you when you go'? I think the same can apply to beauty. You cannot take your outward beauty with you to heaven. You can't take your spray-on tan. You can't take your blonde highlights or your manicured nails. God isn't looking for that. He's looking for your inward beauty. He's looking for your fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Do you see that in yourself? If we don't see these things in ourselves, we should definitely start working on getting those things in us. Because once we have those in us, they will radiate through us. They will radiate Jesus Christ through us, and that's the most beautiful thing of all.

Project 31: Her Children Arise

"Her children arise and call her blessed...." Proverbs 31:28

I hope and pray that this verse is true for me when I have children. For some reason I want a lot of boys and one girl; maybe that's because I never had a brother and would have liked to have one. So I want to give my little girl brothers. I don't know the reason, but like I said, I do want at least one daughter. So for this post, I decided to write a letter to her. 

My daughter, 

     This world is an ugly place, but you are such a beautiful blessing. Be a light to this world and to everyone you come in contact with. This world is hard to live in today; I can only imagine what it will be like when you are reading this letter if things don't change soon. But don't let yourself get discouraged. Remember to be strong and courageous {Deuteronomy 31:6}. We are here for a purpose: to spread God's Good News! Figure out your unique way of doing that and never look back. It will be hard, rough, and sometimes you will want to give up. Christ never promised us an easy life. He promised persecution {John 15:20}, but He also promised us life with Him in eternity if we believe in Him {John 6:47}. Believe in Him! Trust Him! He loves you more than you could ever imagine! 

     As do I! I hope and pray you grow up to be a strong Christian woman who has a passion for the Lord. And I hope and pray that I can be the mother you need to lead you in that direction. Because I love you so much, and because I am a mother, I must include this list {I am sure by now you realize I am obsessed with lists! : ) }

- Grow up to be yourself; not who I, your father, or anyone else wants you to be.

- Read your Bible and hide it in your heart {Psalm 119:11}.

- Do you best; not just enough to get by.

- Stay on the narrow road {Matthew 7:14}.

- Keep in step with the Spirit {Galatians 5:25}.

- Guard your heart {Proverbs 4:23}.

I love you,
Mom

Project 31: Faithful Instruction

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

She is wise.
She is faithful.
She is a teacher.
She is a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt.
She is fun.
She is creative.
She is strong.

She listens.
She loves.
She hugs.
She laughs.
She smiles.
She encourages.

She is my mother.

My mother is like no other I know. I remember growing up that our house was the place to be. My two sisters and I rarely went to a friend's house; they always came over to ours. Our house was fun. Our house was full of love.

As far back as I can remember, she was always the first to rise {unless Daddy was going hunting : ) } and the last to lay down. She cooked, she cleaned, she washed, she picked up, and she still had time to play with us three girls. Even now that all of us are out of the house, she hasn't changed. When we are all able to go home, she cooks, she cleans, she picks up, and she still has time to spend with us.

Her actions are the fruit of the Spirit. She is loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. If I can be half the woman she is, my husband will be a lucky man.

I love you, Mom!

Project 31: Days to Come

 She is clothed with strength and dignity; 

she can laugh at the days to come.  

Proverbs 31:25

Source: flickr.com via Jamie on Pinterest

Sunday, August 28, 2011, will be my husband and my anniversary. We will have been married one year. I still get amazed sometimes at the fact that I am married. I remember starting college like it was yesterday.... But it has been a wonderful first year of marriage. I am so blessed to have a husband like Ragan, and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us in the years to come!

I saw this photo (above) a while back and have been wanting to do something like this for Ragan for our anniversary. The photo is of a couple writing their pledge for each other. 

His pledge to her: "I will kill the spiders. I will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry.  I won’t ever pop my collar. I will never be rude to your tummy- when I hear it growl and gurgle, I promise to bend down and reply respectfully.  I will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza.  I will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger. and the counter-bumped hip. I’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. I will be the big spoon. I will let you win at wrestling. sometimes. other times I will not....."

I'll share a few of mine with you if you promise not to tell him and spoil the surprise! : )

My Pledge to Ragan
I promise to take care of you when you are sick.
I promise to ask questions when you are done talking, not interrupt you while you are talking.
I promise to try not to talk during movies.
I promise to order 1/2 supreme, 1/2 pepperoni when ordering pizza.
I promise to let  you have what's left on my plate when I don't eat it all.
I promise to go to the river with you at least one weekend a month.
I promise to cook more vegetables because I know you like them.

That's all I'll share for now... : )  What are some pledges you would make to your husband?

Project 31: Vigorously Working

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. Proverbs 31:17

I am definitely a schedule and list type of person. I love making lists, and I think everyone should have one, or two, or three, or.....  I just don't understand how someone can get anything done without having a list to check off.

Some of my lists:
- grocery list
- to do list
- blog idea list
- creations idea list

That's one reason I like Pinterest so much! It is like my own online lists that I can get to anywhere! It wouldn't work so well for grocery lists or to do lists, but it's great for my creations list or a wishlist! If I see a craft I would like to make, I just add it to my Pinterest 'list' or board. You can see all my boards here. If you would like an invite to Pinterest, just let me know! You can also share these lists with others. So if you've made a wishlist like I have, you can share it with family and friends, and then everyone knows what you want for your birthday or Christmas!

I think we all need lists to keep us on track and our priorities in order so that we can 'set about our work vigorously'. If we don't have lists - be they mental, handwritten, or saved on our computers - then we'll just wander around our house wondering what to do first or surf the web instead of answering important email messages. Then before you know it, we will have wasted two hours doing nothing!

So if you aren't in the habit of making lists, but want to or need to - don't fear! I have vigorously set about making you some adorably cute planners and lists! You won't be able to resist making a list or planning a schedule now!

I hope you have as much fun using them as I did making them! Here are some other great places to find lists and planners!
- AmyBayliss.com
- Time-Warp Wife
- Inspired to Action


Download the PDFs here.
The PDF of the monthly calendar and birthday calendar includes every month of the year.
The birthdays list was created to be cut apart and to be used as bookmarks somewhere.

 

Enjoy!