31 Days of Virtue: Day 2

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement." 
Genesis 2:18


Who are we? We are helpers to our husbands. We are their partners; we are their spouses. We are not to be demanding, controlling, or superior. 


Why is it sometimes so hard for us to be helpers? I believe it is part of our punishment. After Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God punished them. God told Eve, "I will intensify your labor pains; you will bear children in anguish. Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you." He will rule over you. That's what we have problems with sometimes. We want to be equal; we want both of us to 'rule' our households. But we cannot. Our husbands should be the leaders in our homes. We are to help. 


We try to bring back the garden of Eden, the place where we think everything was perfect and right. But we forget one thing. Temptation was there in that garden in the form of a serpent. Temptation has always been in this world, and when Eve took that bite of fruit, sin was born. Yes, she could have said no. Yes, Adam could have stopped her; but neither of those things happened. You know, I hear people debate who was in the wrong that day in the garden, usually men vs. women. 


"Eve, the woman, took that first bite."


"Adam should have been man enough to stand up and say no."


"Eve knew what she was doing was wrong. She knew God said not to eat from that tree."


"Eve had not even been created when God told Adam not to eat from the tree."


Does it really matter? Eve ate the fruit. Adam ate the fruit. They sinned, and now we have to live with the punishment. To put it bluntly, we need to deal with it and move on. Whose fault it is, is not the problem. We ignore the issue when we argue about that. We were created to be helpers to our husbands, not leaders of our homes. Let your husbands take care of that role. We cannot undo what Eve and Adam has done. 


So how do we help our husbands? We encourage them; we pray for them; we care for them. We talk to them, and sometimes we don't talk. When issues arise that need to be dealt with, which they will, we handle them with our husbands. We let our thoughts be known about the situation respectfully.


Will it be hard? Of course. We want that 'paradise' of Eden back, but we cannot have it. Perhaps admitting to ourselves that we are not the leaders of our homes and allowing our husbands to fill that role will be the first step in being a helper, a partner, a spouse.